Since the Adoption STAR Blog started about one month ago, we have told many birth parent and adoptive parent stories. Today we will be telling the adoption story of an adoptee.
Christian, who is African American, was born in 1974 and his 17-year old birth mother, who is Caucasian, parented him for 11 months before he was placed into foster care. Christian said that his mother was given one year to get her life in order, or he would be placed for adoption. After that one year, Christian’s mother decided it was in his best interest to be adopted, and he always wanted to tell his birth mother how grateful he was to her for making that difficult decision.
Christian spent two years in the foster care system, and lived in four foster homes before being adopted by a Caucasian family who already had a biological son. Christian said his parents had considered adoption before even getting married, and following a few miscarriages decided adoption was the right path for them.
Because he was 11 months old when he entered the foster care system, Christian came to his parents with his birth mother’s last name, which was helpful when he decided he was finally ready to attempt a search for his birth family. His parents were always open about helping him connect with his birth family, but it wasn’t until 2006 that he was ready.
“I think my parents were so open about searching for my birth family because they had two biological children, and understood the importance of my biological family,” Christian said.
Unfortunately, when Christian began his search in 2006, he soon found his birth mother had passed away in 2005. While he was disappointed, Christian was able to find his birth mother’s parents, and he contacted them by phone. Christian said they were so happy to hear from him, and said they had prayed for him throughout the years.
Christian said that his concern throughout the search process was how he would be accepted, because it may not have been the best time in the family’s history to have their white teenager give birth to an African American child.
“I was unprepared to how open and loving my birth family was when we finally met,” Christian said.
Not only were his concerns unwarranted, Christian now celebrates many holidays with his birth family because his parents and brothers are often out of town.
After having a successful search experience, Christian felt he wanted to help other adult adoptees, so in association with Adoption STAR he started A.C.E (Adoptee Circle of Experience.) A.C.E. is a support group for adult adoptees, ages 18 and up.
Christian is currently enlisted in the Air Force International Squad and enjoys spending time with all of his family members.